


Worth at Least Fifty Goats

by InsightfulInsomniac



Series: Hotel Hudmel: The Week Between the Wedding and the Honeymoon [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blam, Blam Bromance, Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, Newlyweds!Klaine, carole is the best, early married klaine, married!klaine, so much blam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23456593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: In the week between their spontaneous wedding and subsequent honeymoon, Kurt and Blaine stay with Burt and Carole. One night, Sam comes over on a whim to chat with Blaine about love and happiness... and he may or may not be trying to barter with Kurt for custody of his husband.Blam-centered, fluffy, humorous fic with Klaine and Burt and Carole jumping in on the madness — sometimes your family argues about how many goats you’re worth, and it’s just a weeknight.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Hotel Hudmel: The Week Between the Wedding and the Honeymoon [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724422
Comments: 9
Kudos: 130





	Worth at Least Fifty Goats

**Author's Note:**

> Have some fluff! Have some Blam! Have some Klaine! Have some Burt and Carole!
> 
> I feel like I’m the Oprah of Klaine and Blam fanfiction right now.

As Sam approaches the Hummel-Hudson home, he seriously debates just using his spare key and walking in. He’s had it since he lived with the Hummel-Hudsons in high school, and it’s just never been taken off of his keychain.

However, he remembers his good southern manners and decides to knock instead. Better to do that than freak Burt or Carole out by just welcoming himself in. Not that they would freak out about him specifically... it’s just he’s not even sure if they know he still has a key.

“Hi, honey,” Carole greets with a warm smile, stepping aside to immediately let him in. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” Sam replies. “I thought about just walking right in with the spare key you gave me in high school, but then I couldn’t remember if you even knew I still had it —“

“Keep it,” Carole remarks. “You’re welcome here any time.”

“Thanks! Hey, is Blaine here?” Sam asks, and Carole nods towards the staircase.

“He’s upstairs. You know the way.”

“Awesome,” before he heads upstairs, Sam peeks his head into the living room, giving Burt a wave. “Hey, Burt!”

“Hi, kid. Good to see you,” he responds, and Sam beams.

“You too! I’m just here for Blaine,” he repeats, and Burt nods with a grin.

“Well, you heard Carole. He’s upstairs.”

“Thanks, Burt.”

If Blaine’s upstairs, he’s probably in his bedroom, which means he’s in the bedroom he shares with Kurt, which means he’s probably with Kurt — oh god, Sam did not think this through. He spontaneously decided to come over to see his best friend, totally not realizing that he could be interrupting husband-time.

Well. He’s here. It’s too late now.

At the bottom of the stairs, Sam braces himself with one hand on the railing and one over his eyes, starting up the stairs slowly. “Blaine? Kurt? I’m coming up! It’s Sam, I’m coming upstairs!”

“Sam? What are you doing?” Carole questions amusedly, having walked back over to the staircase after hearing Sam’s very loud announcements.

He takes his hand off of his eyes. “Carole. I lived with them. It’s called self-preservation.”

“Sam, oh my god,” Blaine laughs, appearing at the top of the stairs. “Kurt isn’t even here right now, come on.”

Sam glances between Carole and Blaine. “We had curtains for walls. I still have nightmares.”

“Sam,” Blaine rolls his eyes, but his flushed cheeks betray his slight embarrassment. “Get up here and hang out with me.”

Sam shrugs, following Blaine to Kurt’s old bedroom. “Where is Kurt? You’re newlyweds, don’t you want to spend every second with each other?”

Blaine smiles. “Of course we do, but Rachel really needed someone to run an errand for her, and it was Kurt’s turn.”

Jumping back onto the bed, Blaine pats the spot next to him and Sam follows suit. “Wait, Rachel’s been asking you guys to run errands? Your honeymoon’s in three days. That’s not cool.”

“It’s okay, we don’t mind,” Blaine replies. “I took the first one, and Kurt got this one.”

“Couldn’t you go together?” Sam asks, and Blaine chuckles.

“Theoretically, yes. But the first time, Kurt was already making breakfast and I was free. This time, he wanted to go alone so he could bring me back a surprise.”

“Oh,” Sam waggles his eyebrows. “A surprise.”

Blaine just raises his eyebrows in return. “If it’s that kind of surprise, then your time here is very limited.”

Sam laughs. “You and Kurt are cute. It makes me emotional every time I see your wedding ring.”

“Aw, buddy,” Blaine smiles, glancing down at the silver ring on his left hand and feeling the warmth spread in his chest at just the mere sight of it. “Me too.”

“It’s just, you’re my best friend, and you’re so happy,” Sam continues. “I haven’t even seen you since the wedding, and I just know you haven’t stopped smiling.”

“I don’t think I have,” Blaine agrees, and Sam slings an arm around his shoulders.

“You and Kurt being married just makes everything feel right in the world,” Sam remarks. “I’m so proud of you, man. We’re all growing up. It’s so weird.”

“It is weird,” Blaine repeats. “But I agree, getting married just makes everything feel right — or, at least, clearer. Like if I was seeing the world through glasses that needed a new prescription. I could still see, but it was a struggle sometimes. Now everything is clear.”

“I’m so happy for you, Blaine,” Sam pulls his best friend into a bone-crushing hug, only releasing him when they hear a throat being cleared.

“Have you come to steal my husband?” Kurt asks, standing in the doorway with an amused smile on his face.

Blaine laughs, but Sam just keeps his arm around Blaine’s shoulders, tightening his hold jokingly. “Yes, and what about it, Hummel?”

“Anderson-Hummel,” Kurt corrects pointedly, and Sam notices how both of their faces light up at that.

“Alright, I’ll cut you a deal,” Sam grins. “I will give you fifteen of my finest goats for your husband.”

Blaine sputters, laughing, but Kurt just raises an eyebrow. “Blaine is worth way more than fifteen goats.”

“Fine. Twenty goats, and two cows,” Sam retorts.

“Thirty goats and five cows,” Kurt argues, and Blaine shakes his head incredulously.

“Oh my god, I am not property to be bartered —“

“Twenty-seven goats and three cows.”

“My husband is worth at least thirty goats, Sam —“

“Why are we arguing over how many goats Blaine is worth?” Carole asks on the edge of a laugh, Burt standing behind her and looking, rightfully so, very confused.

“They both want custody rights to me, I think,” Blaine answers. “But apparently I’m only worth thirty goats.”

“Thirty goats is a lot, Blaine!” Kurt protests.

“Blaine, I’ll offer fifty goats for you,” Carole suggests, and Blaine wiggles out of Sam’s hold and wraps an arm around his mother-in-law’s shoulders triumphantly.

“Carole won the bidding war,” he grins. “I’m hers now.”

“I’m your best friend!” Sam cries, and Kurt raises his left hand dramatically. 

“I’m your husband!”

Blaine shrugs. “You both know I’m worth at least fifty goats. I’m Carole’s now.”

“Blaine, I got us milkshakes from Sundae’s,” Kurt says, a smug smirk stretching across his face.

“Oh my god, I haven’t had one in years, Kurt —“ Blaine turns his heart-meltingly in love eyes on his husband. “That’s where we had our first official date, oh my god. That place is like forty minutes away!”

“I know,” Kurt replies warmly. “I thought it would be a nice treat. They might be a little melted, though.”

Blaine leaves Carole’s side and wraps his arm around Kurt’s waist, who tugs him close against his side. “I’m sorry, Carole. I can’t stay away from him for long.”

“Aw,” Sam beams from the bed. “I’m so okay with this.”

“I would’ve gotten you a milkshake if I had known you were here, Sam,” Kurt apologizes. “But feel free to stay; we were just going to watch a movie.”

“Really, Sam, stay,” Blaine adds. “I promise you’re not interrupting anything.”

“I’ll put some popcorn in the microwave,” Carole remarks, heading back downstairs.

“As long as you guys really don’t care —“

“Scoot over, Sam,” Blaine comments, scooting up next to him on the bed, pulling Kurt onto it next to him. “This is perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoyed! If you want to stay up-to-date with my writing, follow my Instagram! I’ll be posting fic updates and interacting with all of you to even create some fanfiction!
> 
> @insightful.insomniac
> 
> And/or find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [One Milkshake, Two Straws](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25320109) by [brilucido](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilucido/pseuds/brilucido)




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